as friends what do buddy and his cousin gave to each other

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Concluding weekend my direct friend and I decided to invite some people over and have a cookout at his business firm. Everything went bully at kickoff, and we all were having a good time. Somewhen everyone left except for me, him, and his girlfriend. His girlfriend went upstairs to bed, and he and I stayed downstairs and continued drinking. We are both partial to whiskey, and man was information technology going down like shooting fish in a barrel that night. Earlier long we found ourselves pretty hammered.
At one bespeak I remember coming into the room and finding him lying on his dorsum on the floor with his optics closed. I got down on the floor beside him, started shaking him, telling him to wake up, and giving him a hard time about passing out on the floor. He opened his eyes, sat upwards, looked around the room, and then stared at me for about x seconds. That'southward when it happened. He pulled downwardly his pants and exposed his already angry member.

I don't remember if any words were exchanged, but it was definitely on from that point. Nosotros merely fooled effectually – mainly oral with him being the receiver. He tried to become for more, but he was too drunk to observe any lube. Finally nosotros passed out on a blanket on the floor.

When I woke up early the next morning, he had already gone upstairs, but every piece of his clothing was still strewn out all over the flooring. I instantly experienced both thrill and panic. I realized that he must've gone upstairs to become in bed with his girlfriend while still completely naked from our encounter! I quickly got dressed and started to straighten the room upwardly. I folded his apparel and left them on a chair. Then I got the hell out of there and went home. Later on the same solar day around apex I got a telephone call from him. He said he must've blacked out because he didn't remember anything from the nighttime earlier. His girlfriend told him he had come to bed completely naked, and he had gotten ill subsequently lying down in bed. He even mentioned finding his apparel folded on the chair downstairs. He asked me if I remembered anything – I lied and said 'No'.

When that telephone call ended, my mind started racing with more and more questions. Information technology'south been almost a calendar week now, and in that location's non a solar day that has gone by in which I haven't thought about that dark and all the unanswered questions. That's why I'm posting this thread here.

At present that I've got the main part of the story out of the style, allow me step back for a infinitesimal and fill in some background information. (I should mention I'k a nerd who loves bulleted lists.)

• This guy is i of my all-time friends (if not my best friend). He was one of the showtime people I came out to. He has e'er been very supportive of my lifestyle, and is always there for me to talk to.

• I'chiliad definitely attracted to this guy, and I judge hooking upwards with him was always a fantasy of mine. But I tried to keep that fantasy out of my mind as much as possible considering I valued his friendship and so much. I wanted to see him as a good friend, non as the object of some fantasy. I thought that would only cause problems with the friendship, regardless of whether he knew about the fantasy or not.

• I don't have any reason to suspect that he is gay or fifty-fifty bi. Like I said earlier, we are really close friends and I've never seen anything to propose that he was anything only direct. He'south been living with his girlfriend for 4 years now, and the three of us hang out regularly. He and I have been lone together while drinking many times earlier, and I've never so much as seen him check me out or try to flirt with me.

Aye, I did enjoy the experience, but it led to so many unanswered questions.

• Does he call up more than than he'southward letting on?

• Could he really remain awake and aroused and physically agile during all of this, yet forget it all by the fourth dimension he woke up the next morning? I don't pretend to recollect everything (I was pretty boozer myself), but I sure think plenty to know information technology happened.

• Could a direct guy go drunk enough to fool around with some other guy simply because information technology "felt skilful", or is it more than likely that he has some gay/bi/curious feelings that perchance he's been repressing?

I'm leaning toward assertive his "blackout" story because that he didn't even bother to get dressed before going upstairs to bed with his sober girlfriend. He says he doesn't remember annihilation. He'southward either telling the truth, or he's too aback/embarrassed to talk well-nigh it and hopes I don't call up annihilation either. I only can't see how talking to him about it could possibly make the situation any amend.

We've talked on the phone and exchanged text messages a few times over the past few days, simply yet haven't met contiguous since this all happened. I do accept plans to go hang out with him in a couple of days.

I would love to be romantically (or fifty-fifty but physically) involved with this guy, just our friendship has to come up before that. I value our friendship too much to let anything else go far the way. The part of me that is attracted to this guy wants to believe that at that place's more to the story than simply a drunken encounter that he doesn't even remember. The role of me that values our friendship more than anything is telling me that I'm treading on thin ice, and any wrong motion could send the friendship crashing down.

I'm sorry for the length of this post. I hope it'south at least halfway comprehensible. For the past 5 days I've been alternating between feeling similar I've fucked up our friendship forever, and feeling thrilled & excited that something I never thought would happen actually happened.

Here's the role where I plead for your advice. What do you retrieve? Have you lot experienced anything like this before? What'south the right protocol for handling a state of affairs similar this?

Whatsoever and all responses will be appreciated.

Cheers.
I had a similar experience with a 'straight' friend many years ago. We had a few drinks, I slept over his place, so during the night while nosotros were passed out together he started touching my face and laughing. At get-go I thought he was merely being a goof, but so I moved a little closer. Before I knew information technology we were making out and it went from at that place.
Even so the next forenoon, when I made note of the fact that we had washed something, he claimed to not call up anything. The only matter he recalled is having a great dream about a hot fourth dimension with a girl. He kept this upward for a while, and I dropped information technology. A couple months later he came to me and asked me if we had done anything that nighttime. I bodacious him we did, and he once again stated he truly did not know. We are nevertheless in one another's circles, all the same we are not as shut every bit nosotros once were.

So what I am saying is, don't be surprised if this does not go well for you lot. Also, my 'direct' friend was single. Yours is not. Yous have to consider that you but enabled him to cheat on his girlfriend. Not a good situation to put yourself in.

I have never been intoxicated plenty to not recollect my actions, especially engaging in sexual practice with someone, and I sincerely doubt the honesty of anyone who claims such consummate and full memory loss. Your all-time option is to let it get, chaulk information technology up to an fault and forget it. If he comes to you with a confession and a willingness to get out her and move forwards with you, and so yous will have your answers, and what you desire.

If he comes to you wanting more and remains involved with his girlfriend, then you you are merely enabling him to cheat and you two deserve 1 another.
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I fully concur with ArcherySet on all of this. I really tin't say anymore in a ameliorate way than he did.
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Since you like bullet points...

I detect it hard to believe his story. He might not call up everything, hell, he might merely call back bits and pieces, but his business is likely whether or not you retrieve anything. My communication to you is to lie like a domestic dog and tell him you remember zip. Otherwise, you're putting your friendship in danger.

Stick to your story no thing what. If he confronts y'all about it; telling y'all that he thinks he had sex activity with yous, act shocked. Tell him that you don't even call back him going upstairs. And then tell him that information technology'south best just to forget most it, that it wasn't a big deal, that you both were seriously drunk, and that he probably shouldn't tell his girlfriend.

You do not want his girlfriend finding out. Why? Well, just imagine how you'd feel if your boyfriend wanted to hang out with a guy he cheated on you with. Unless she's a super kinky freak and finds it incredibly hot and either wants to sentry her boyfriend and you together, or wants to accept a threesome, she's non going to want him anywhere most you.

However, worst case scenario; he gets a guilty conscience. He confesses what happens between the both of you to his girlfriend. By sticking to the story that y'all think zippo, you can cross your fingers and hope that any anger she feels is directed generally (if not entirely) at her boyfriend and not you.

Forget what happened. Put it out of your mind. He was insanely drunk. Even bookkeeping for the fact that he might remember some of what happened, it doesn't hateful he's bisexual, secretly gay, or that you're his magical "exception." He was drunk out of his mind. He might non have fifty-fifty realized (or fully acknowledged) that he was fooling around with you.

Don't even let yourself entertain the notion of a relationship. For that to even be possible he has to do two things. Outset, he has to come out to you as either gay or bisexual. Second, he has to leave his girlfriend. For there to be whatever promise - any hope whatsoever - he has to do both of those things first. The likelihood of him doing even one of those things is adjacent to zilch, and if 1 does happen it is probable that his girlfriend dumps him considering he slept with you.

I know that this might audio harsh, maybe even likewise harsh. But actually, I know exactly what you're feeling. I don't know many gay men (myself included) who hasn't developed a shell or had feelings for a direct guy - including straight friends. It happens all as well ofttimes, but there is just one of import matter to think...
They are directly. They are not interested in a romantic relationship with you; if they were they'd come out as bisexual or gay. They take not, therefore there is no promise for a relationship with them. You're only setting yourself up for failure, heartbreak, and the loss of a friend.

The best matter you lot can do, if y'all haven't done so already, is to find yourself a boyfriend. Why? Considering generally speaking, if you're pining over direct guy friends it's most always considering y'all're lonely and don't have anyone in your life. You want someone who yous tin beloved, and who can honey you in return.

Delight, please, please don't endanger your friendship over something that just isn't going to happen. You lot will regret it.
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I want to thank everyone who has responded and then far. I would normally go to a few of my close friends for communication in a situation like this, but unfortunately they all know the guy in questions. In that location'south no way I could ask for their advice without inadvertently exposing what happened that dark.
Your responses have been helpful and encouraging, and have given me plenty to think about.
I've been so consumed with worrying near this whole ordeal that I neglected to think about the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend with me - whether he remembers or not. I really like his girlfriend. She's kind, friendly, and has always been nice to me. The final matter I would want to do is enable him to cheat on her. Yet, that'due south exactly what I did. I feel even worse about this whole affair now.Based on the responses and then far (and subsequently re-reading my original post), I feel I should analyze something. When I said "I would love to exist romantically (or even physically) involved with this guy", I meant that statement in more of an "in-another-lifetime" sense. In other words, I'g attracted to him and the fantasy exists, but I know there's no chance that we could ever exist together.
I might check him out or remember of him in a sexual manner from time to time, but I even endeavour to keep those thoughts from entering my listen because I don't know how they might subconsciously affect our friendship.

I concur that the best thing to exercise is to put the whole thing out of my mind and pretend information technology never happened. The merely mode I think he would e'er bring information technology up would be to guage my response to determine if I remembered anything.

At this indicate the deed is washed and it'southward pretty much out of my hands. I'g agape there will always be an elephant in the room when we're hanging out, but once more at that place'southward not much I can do at this point. This sucks then bad, and I keep chirapsia myself upward over it. I know information technology's non expert to worry over things that are out of your command, but that's easier said than done.

When I see him this weekend I'm going to practice my best to act like information technology'south just any other weekend. I'll postal service dorsum here and let yous know how it went.

Cheers again for your responses, and wish me luck.
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Information technology sounds like you're on the right track. I've seen other gay guys that barbarous for a direct guy (typically a friend) and wanted to delude themselves into assertive that a relationship was possible. I did it once, years ago, and it was a major mistake. It never ends well. Never.
He has to remember or suspect something. How much? Who knows. Stick to your story.

Things may be awkward at first, just somewhen time will pass and this will become a distant memory for both of y'all. The goal hither is to avoid minimizing the damage to your friendship.

Smiling. Human action normal. Forget that it happened.

(*hug*) I know that this is emotional hell. That's another reason to put it out of your mind, and take precautions to make sure it never happens again.
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When I terminal had a straight beat, at i signal I had deluded myself into thinking that he was a cupboard case.
Anyway, firstly, I suspect that he may exist i of those guys who gets 'bent on the ends' when they become drunk (i.east. they're not completely straight). Sober, he would be.

You would however be surprised how much people can forget when they're boozer, and how unlike people act. My female all-time friend at a political party when she was drunk kept shouting at me to GTFO and STFU because she wanted a guy, like, a lot. (He was sober, and one of my friends). It's possible that he was out enough not to remember much, although it'southward more likely he's turned a blind eye to the little that he does remember.

But await things to be awkward for a while, and don't exist surprised if the friendship takes a turn for the worst.
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Same affair happened with my friend. We drank alot one night then he felt me up and grabbed my bundle. After we cuddled and his mom walked in on united states of america. I think he is bi, merely he tin't come to terms with it nevertheless. I don't know if he remembers it or not. But i feel incredibly guilty that his mom nighttime have seen us naked and spooning. effed upwards state of affairs...i know. haha and then yours can be worse like mine haha
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A couple of thoughts.
1. Being drunkard dosen't make you exercise things you don't desire to practice. It merely lowers you inhibitions.
2. When I go boozer I go horny.
3. With lowered inhibitions and beingness incredibly horned up, he probable was non very picky virtually his sexual partners.

It is imperative that y'all never allow the 2 of you to become in a state of affairs where something simular could happen once more.

My kickoff idea is to never bing information technology up. Though he did get drunk and cheat on his girlfriend. That is non cool.
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Well, here's an update.
I returned to my friend's business firm last night. This was the first fourth dimension I'd seen him since the incident terminal week. I had been mentally preparing myself for a few days leading up to this visit, trying to put that incident out of my mind and human action similar this was merely any other visit. That'due south easier said than done.

He and his girlfriend were both awake when I got there. Nosotros exchanged greetings and pocket-sized talk. I felt like every fourth dimension I looked at him - peculiarly when our optics met - that nosotros both were secretly acknowledging the elephant in the room. I don't know if this was really the case or if it was only my paranoia. I tried to keep the conversation going as much as possible. As long as we were talking and laughing about something else, the uncomfortable feelings stayed away. What I didn't want was to sit at that place in silence and watch TV. That would've given my mind a much longer leash to run with and to stir upwards all sorts of questions, paranoia, and "what ifs".

Booze was a gene in the original situation. Only my friend and I are "drinking buddies", and this was Sabbatum nighttime. I opted for a 6-pack of beer this time instead of drinking liquor; he opted for water. I wondered how observant he was, and if he noticed that I toned-downwards the alcohol this weekend. I certainly noticed his switch to bottled water, and I knew the reason behind that switch. This situation is not funny, simply I frequently resort to humour when approaching hard situations; this is merely how my listen works. And so I couldn't assist simply chuckle to myself that he was playing it extra rubber this weekend with the water. He really didn't have to worry though, considering there was no amount of alcohol that would've resulted in a repeat of last weekend. After disturbing over this thing for the past calendar week, in that location was no chance in hell I'd let information technology happen again (no matter how much I'd been drinking). They say hindsight is 20/20, and I came armed with a shitload of hindsight terminal dark. :icon_bigg

Somewhen his girlfriend went upstairs to bed (for the tape, I'm almost positive she doesn't know or suspect annihilation). I don't recall much after that because I brutal comatose in a chair watching TV (as I've washed on and then many weekends at his firm in the past). When I woke up this morning to go habitation, I was the only one downstairs (again, but similar nearly weekends). I let myself out and headed dwelling.

My main business organisation with this ordeal is non wanting to jeopardize a friendship. I'm uncomfortable about this whole state of affairs mainly because he is uncomfortable. It doesn't bother me that I fooled around with another guy (other than the fact I enabled him to cheat); I'm gay after all. On the other hand, he is a straight guy in a serious relationship. I know that he probably remembers at least something, and is probably very bothered by it. And that is what's ultimately bothering me. I want so badly to let him know that it was a error and that it won't happen again. I desire to permit him know that I won't ever bring up the situation again. I want to permit him know that our friendship means much more to me than some stupid, drunken error. I want to let him know that he has aught to worry near. But, I can't. I nevertheless think the best thing to practise, as many of you have suggested, is to keep my oral cavity shut unless he brings it up. Fifty-fifty then, I'll probably feign ignorance and write information technology off to existence boozer.

All in all it was uncomfortable, but I call up I handled it well. I know it will take time, simply I'one thousand hoping this friendship can exist mended. Office of me worries that he will endeavor to put more than altitude between the two of us, only only time will tell. Every bit I said in my last post, most of this is out of my hands at this point.

Thanks again to everyone who responded. I'm glad I found this customs.
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well, hopefully yous enjoyed the oral becuase information technology is unlikely to happen over again. here are my thoughts.
1. he is lying about non remembering anything. since when exercise you not remember your all-time friend that is a gay male sucking your dick. he's lying and covering.

2. he told the girlfriend that he was drunk and remembers aught so she can believe the lie too. he told yous that as well equally an indirect way of maxim "whatever happened, dont bring it up again and information technology did not happen".

3. he is a guy. sometimes guys get horny. that night yous all were drinking and he was horny and was curious to know what oral from a dude felt like. he probably has been curious about information technology before and since he knew yous would suck his dick, he pulled his pants downward to experience it. he did and concluded up going back to bed with his girlfriend.

four. my advice is just to pretend like it didn't happen. apparently he is doing that, and then just follow his lead and erase it from your memory banks. bringing information technology up is merely going to crusade drama.

5. also, he has a girfriend. ok, you lot experienced your direct crush coming true, so now back off and deal with the 100 pct gays or bis that are single.
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If you don't desire it to happen over again, that's hands remedied. If yous two are lone (or alone-ish), and you run across him drinking quite a bit, but say "yous might want to slow downwardly a bit. Permit's non have a repeat of last time.". Say it with a smile, and don't reference it once again. That'll let him know you lot know, you lot're cool with it, and yous're not interested in a repeat performance,
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Sounds pretty complicated, but I think he does remember it. I would just allow him feel safe by non bringing it up.
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Why tin can't this ever happen with a guy who says, "Wow, that was really bang-up! Obviously I'm gay too and since we're best buds, let's date and live happily ever after"? Wouldn't that exist nice for once?
I hope your friendship isn't hurt by this at all. So far sounds good for you
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PSchris -
Yes, past taking the water he pretty much screamed that he remembers what happened. That was pretty much a dead requite away.

Since it was the start fourth dimension you lot've both seen each other since it happened, it was inevitable that it'd be awkward. It's like a bail of trust that'south been broken and needs to exist rebuilt. He's afraid that if he drinks around you lot that it's going to happen again.

I wouldn't shell yourself upwardly almost it. Why? Well, you lot were insanely drunk and so was he. Hopefully, you wouldn't have done anything with him were you sober, but since your inhibitions were lowered... Plus, he has an equal amount of responsibility in what happened. He might have been drunk as well, but information technology isn't similar you lot told him to pull downwards his pants, and it wasn't like he was saying no - after all, he wanted to go even further than you let him.

Forgive yourself for what happened. There is nothing you tin do to change it, and there is no point in living in regret. Take a vow to do what yous must to repair your friendship and ensure that it never happens again.

Things go more complicated if you notice that he starts pulling away from you. If he stops answering your texts, doesn't really start returning your calls, doesn't potable when you're around, then he is pulling away. This should become rather clear in the next couple of weeks or and so.

If y'all notice that he's doing something similar that, and you see your friendship slowly circling around in the toilet - about to be flushed, it might be time to have a blunt and honest chat about what happened. This is pretty much a last resort in a drastic promise to repair things.

Ideally, he's going to go over his awkwardness, which in turn will assist you get over yours, and things will eventually - in time - return to normal. Both of yous will pretend that it never happened, and that will be that.

If the ideal doesn't happen, and you accept to have a serious talk with him.. ugh. Definitely, definitely, don't take all the arraign (or any of the blame - it's improve if he accepts it all on himself, otherwise he might blame y'all completely to avoid feeling like his sexuality has been questioned). This is definitely a situation that is more than traumatic for him than for you, and has far greater complications.

Ideally, you lot'll both blame it on the booze, and once it's talked about and in the open yous'll both exist able to find a manner to movement by it. Hopefully he will also be silent about information technology when information technology comes to his girlfriend, since she'southward a wildcard in all of this.

If he gets angry or wonders why you lied about not remembering annihilation, just tell the truth. Tell him you were hoping he didn't recollect, and that you didn't want to say anything because you were trying to avert clumsiness. Tell him that you were hoping that you both could have put it behind you lot without talking about it, since yous were both crazy boozer and didn't even know what y'all were doing.

But, but, but, simply... this is a last resort. The well-nigh ideal situation is that things start returning to normal again, and you both put it behind you like nothing happened. Talking most it, I think, should just be reserved when it looks like you have no other options left.
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if in that location weren't all the societal taboos once again homosexuality that would probably happen a lot.
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Hi,
Lamentable to bring up an onetime thread, only I wonder if you can give me some advice.

I'm a directly guy and take never had any course of sexual experience with a guy until a couple of months agone.

The guy it happened with is gay and is one of my closest friends and nosotros have known each other for years.

We went went out for some drinks 1 weekend as nosotros ordinarily practise and ended upward going back to mine to chill, watch Television receiver, listen to music and proceed drinking.

We both ended up getting totally wasted, to the point where I tin can't remember large parts of the dark. All I know is that some stuff happened that actually shouldn't have happened.

My terminal memory is of united states sitting on the sofa naked and somehow we ended up touching each other etc.

I had taken double the dose of my (prescribed) Klonopin that day as I was feeling more than anxious than usual. The terminal time I took a large dose of Klonopin combined with alcohol
is when I was flying back from vacation and I almost ended up getting arrested for being drunk and hell-raising, shouting at motel crew on the plane and all other kinds of crazy stuff that I honestly could not remember doing until my girlfriend told me when I woke upwardly the following day.

I take a girlfriend of iv years and I have never been attracted to guys in any style and I tin't piece of work out why this happened with one of my best friends. I don't remember taking my clothes off, I don't retrieve getting my dick out, and I don't remember me asking him to take his clothes off.

I have been having really bad panic attacks since that day. I feel completely confused near what happened. I know I'm definitely not attracted to guys.

I oasis't told my girlfriend every bit I'yard worried about how she will react.

I text him a couple of days later the night it happened and said that I was completely wasted and didn't recollect annihilation almost the night and he replied saying that he was really wasted too and that he didn't remember anything either. Nosotros and so sent a few more texts to each other about full general stuff. I wanted to pretend zip had happened as I felt then weird about the state of affairs. We haven't been in contact since then.

My panic attacks and general anxiety surrounding the event have become worse and I haven't told anyone about what happened. I can't slumber at night and I fee terrible that I'1000 keeping this secret from my girlfriend.

I experience like I desire to text him to tell him how I'thousand feeling only I wonder whether it is just all-time left lone and hope that it's not bad-mannered the next time I see him, whenever that may be.

Tin any of y'all give me any advice?

Should I text him to say I know something happened that night that shouldn't take happened? And that I've been feeling very confused and stressed well-nigh the state of affairs? Or practise I just try to pretend it never happened and hope information technology becomes a afar retention and that when we side by side come across each other nosotros can just laugh it off?

Cheers in advance for whatever assistance.
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Allow me outset by saying that I honestly sympathise with you and what you're feeling. Just reading your mail service brought back memories of my experience three years ago and the feelings that accompanied it. I'll be glad to offering some advice in the hopes that it will help you out.
First of all, I don't think that your feel makes you gay or even bisexual. I retrieve that guys can have a sexual feel without either of them existence gay or bi. I believe that a person's romantic desires, preferences, and needs can be separated from the physical deed of sexual practice. When this happens, I think it'southward the result of merely satisfying a physical need. That physical need can exist purely curiosity, which I think happens more than oftentimes in younger people who have but started to become sexual. That physical need can be the desire to experiment in gild to see what it's similar to be with some other guy. And finally, that physical need can simply be existence horny and needing to "get off" (which I call up is what happened in my situation and, if I had to estimate, is what happened in your situation too).
Like I said earlier, I think two directly guys can have a sexual experience purely for the physical deed because they are both horny and demand to get off. I recall this can happen with two sober guys. When you add booze and other medications, inhibitions get lowered and it becomes even easier to cross lines that you normally wouldn't cross. You said your friend was gay, so he is already attracted to guys. But you're wondering how you (a directly guy with a girlfriend who is not attracted to guys) could've fooled around with another guy. Again I'll indicate to the fact that you were intoxicated and your brain was operating on a much lower, bones level. You were probably horny, not because yous were attracted to your friend, simply because people merely get horny (particularly when they're drunk). When you add together these up you have your encephalon operating on a lower level due to beingness intoxicated, and it's trying to fulfil a purely physical want. You know your friend is gay, so your brain now sees that as an opportunity to have that physical need fulfilled. Normally yous might cease at this point because you're non attracted to guys, and the situation wouldn't escalate whatsoever further. But this time you were wasted and had doubled upwardly on medication, so the things that would normally cause you to stop weren't functioning commonly (or at all). Thus you end up moving forwards with the situation and doing what you did.
Remember that yous pointed out a situation in the by where yous doubled up on your medication and information technology led to y'all basically "blacking out" and doing things you don't remember doing. And so you know that it's possible for things like this to happen (sexually-related or non).
Whatever you do, don't stop taking your prescription without talking to your dr. first; this can cause withdrawal symptoms and even seizures. If things don't go better, talk to your doctor. (**Please note that I'thou non a doctor or medical professional, so this should not be taken as medical advice. I am only sharing my personal noesis of the drug because it has been prescribed to me.) Every bit for the panic attacks and general anxiety, see my comments from earlier. Talk to your doctor if needed.
I probably wouldn't mention this to your girlfriend. Others will disagree with me on this communication, simply I just don't see how telling her tin make the situation any meliorate; it can certainly make the state of affairs worse. She probable will non understand how or why this could've happened (just like yous are unable to empathise how or why it happened). She volition take more questions than you lot'll have answers for, and your answers may not be to her satisfaction. I really think information technology's best to non bring this up to her.

I empathise you experience terrible most keeping this secret from your girlfriend. Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship. Simply some stones are ameliorate left unturned. Ultimately you'll have to decide this on your ain.

Practice you think she'due south going to exist understanding enough to hear your story and realize that information technology was just something that occurred as a result of you existence wasted and doubling-up on Klonopin? I'grand not sure that most women would be that understanding.

Do you think she will understand that this was just a physical human action that occurred in your intoxicated state and in no manner reflects on your sexual preference? I've told you that I don't think this makes you lot gay or even bi, but it's not like yous can just print off this post and show it to your girlfriend as proof. I think that most straight people have a problem agreement situations like this because they identify so strongly with being straight. So until they find themselves in a like situation, they don't see how it can be possible for a direct person to have a sexual experience with a person of the aforementioned sex and not be gay or at to the lowest degree bisexual. This is why you're having such a hard fourth dimension dealing with the whole experience, and it'southward very likely that your girlfriend would have a problem with it for the same reasons. I hope that you are able to come to terms with this situation, realize why information technology happened, and realize that it doesn't modify anything about y'all or your orientation. I retrieve it would exist much harder for your girlfriend to come to terms with the state of affairs because she's not the one information technology happened to.

Is this considered "cheating"? In the strict, physical sense....probably. I know that in my situation, I felt similar my friend was cheating on his girlfriend in some sense, even though he was blackout drunk. Simply I didn't feel like he was romantically or emotionally adulterous on her, and I don't feel similar you were either. In your situation, not only were yous wasted on booze, yous were likewise on a medication that, when combined with alcohol, tin can crusade people to blackout. Don't become me wrong, drugs and alcohol don't brand it correct, only they tin can offering an caption as to why something happened that would otherwise not happen.

Hopefully you've learned what can happen when you lot mix alcohol with higher doses of certain medications, and hopefully y'all'll take steps to prevent things similar this from happening in the future.

I think cheating is incorrect. I too believe that people make mistakes and can learn from those mistakes. It seems likely that your girlfriend will not find out about this incident unless y'all specifically tell her. Assuming that yous've learned your lesson and are genuinely contrite, I stand up by my before statement that I don't how telling your girlfriend tin can make the situation any better.

If it's really driving you crazy and yous feel like you can't continue in the relationship without telling her, then that's your choice. Ultimately it's up to you lot. I would give it some time offset. Being too quick to act tin get yous in problem. This is something you really want to think about start.

Here's another piece of advice that works for me when I'1000 anxious near something and it's consuming my thoughts and preventing me from sleeping at night:

Go for a walk or a run. This may sound simple at beginning, simply hear me out. You lot're probably already thinking most this situation on a daily basis, playing the events of that nighttime over and over in your caput, and request yourself the aforementioned questions over and over. Then why not procedure these thoughts while doing something physical at the aforementioned fourth dimension. Set aside an hour or so to go walking or running, and tell yourself that you're not going to retrieve nigh this situation until during your walk or run. Then, instead of wearing headphones and listening to music during your walk/run, use that fourth dimension to think well-nigh your situation; meditate; be alone with just your thoughts; inquire the "what if'southward" and other questions that have been consuming your brain; think most the pros and cons of telling your girlfriend or confronting your friend about the situation; develop a plan for how you lot can avoid a similar state of affairs in the future.
Setting aside a time of solar day to call up about these things will help you to keep from focusing on them when y'all should be working or going to school or sleeping. The physical activity is also healthy and can help you sleep ameliorate at night.
You said that yous don't remember taking your clothes off, only you do call back beingness naked and touching each other. So you recollect some parts but not others. Your friend is probably in the same boat. It's unlikely that he doesn't recall anything.
When this happened to me, I pretended not to recollect anything because I knew the situation would be uncomfortable for my direct friend. In other words, I was trying to give him an escape road by pretending that I didn't remember anything about that night (plausible deniability, if y'all will). If he idea that I didn't remember anything about that nighttime, and then he could say the aforementioned matter and never have to mention information technology once more.

My friend and I were very close at the fourth dimension, and I valued that friendship much more whatsoever sexual experience. I didn't want one stupid night to mess upwardly our friendship. I was perfectly willing to pretend it never happened because I knew that's what he wanted (and part of me wanted that too).

Your friend probably remembers at least some role of what happened that night. He may exist having some of the aforementioned thoughts and feelings that y'all are currently having. He may be pretending not to remember anything because he thinks that would exist the easiest fashion for you to handle the situation.

I remember I would just keep quiet for now and pretend like you don't recollect annihilation.

There are just 3 reasons I can think of for you lot to talk about this with him. Otherwise, just keep placidity.

Things between you and your friend become and then uncomfortable that you feel like it is jeopardizing your friendship. Give it some time get-go, and don't be too quick to human action. It's going to feel weird to hang out with him at first. This is normal, and talking about it won't ready this completely. In fact, information technology may take several weeks or even months before things feel like they're back to "normal".

(This is highly unlikely.) Your friend interprets this feel as a cue that yous want to start doing this on a regular basis. If your friend starts hitting on y'all, and so it would probably be a good thought to have a conversation about what happened. Again, this is highly unlikely. Your friend knows you're straight, and it doesn't sound similar he's e'er tried to make a move on you lot in the by. So in that location'south no reason to believe that he would all of a sudden think it was OK to make a motility on you now. There's no reason to be paranoid around him.

Sometime in the distant futurity, you might want to bring information technology upward only to get it off your chest. I would permit a lot of time pass before I talked about it though. It e'er helps to talk about a sensitive subject like this after a considerable amount of time has passed. It won't experience and so weird talking about information technology if a year or so has gone by. If y'all do decide to bring it up in the future, brand sure the time is right. Choose a time when you and your friend are both in a adept mood, and when yous tin talk near it in private and contiguous.

Your friend likely regrets that this situation took identify just equally much every bit you practise. He probably knows that you lot remember some of what happened that dark, and he'due south probably worried about your friendship just as much as you are. Try to act normal around him, and remember how important your friendship is. The more than you lot act normal around him (even if it feels weird on the inside), the more it will genuinely start to feel normal over again. This will take fourth dimension, but I promise that it's worth it for the sake of your friendship.
Your situation is so similar to mine, except that in your situation you're the straight friend. Reading your story really did bring back a lot of erstwhile feelings from several years ago. I hope that some of what I've said helps. I'll exist glad to answer whatever other questions you might have and/or clarify annihilation that I've written.
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Hither's a brief follow-upward to my story, including a fault I made in the way I handled the situation.
For the purposes of this post, let'southward refer to my straight friend with whom I had the sexual experience every bit "Jeff".

I decided to confide in a mutual straight friend (we'll telephone call him "Doug") because I felt like I needed to talk to somebody I trusted and who was familiar with Jeff. I thought I could trust Doug non say annihilation, and he didn't for about 6 months. And so i 24-hour interval Doug and Jeff got into a heated argument, and Doug brought upward what I had told him about Jeff. Doug did this simply to be hurtful to Jeff, but of course it had serious implications for me as well.

I got a text message from Doug saying "Jeff knows, so y'all improve prepare yourself." I was out-of-town when I got the text message, and didn't fully empathise what it meant. (This was 6 months after the incident occurred, and then it was non fresh in my mind.) This was very much a bowwow move on Doug's function both for telling Jeff and for sending me a text bulletin instead of calling or talking to me in person.

Anyhow, when I got back in town, I got a telephone call ane night from Jeff. I wasn't expecting information technology to exist related to the incident half dozen months agone, so I was completely blindsided when he asked me almost information technology. I'd never heard Jeff speak in that tone of voice. I remember how frustrated and angry he sounded. He asked me what happened, and I told him the truth. The conversation started drifting toward him accusing me of taking reward of him, but I wasn't having any of that. I went over some specific details of what he had done that nighttime and explained that at that place was no manner he wasn't actively participating in the events that night. I had to be forceful and stand my ground to prevent him from trying to paint the whole state of affairs as existence my fault.

The telephone telephone call lasted possibly an hour, but it seemed liken an eternity. We probably went over the details of that night at least 3 times. He would inquire me to repeat certain parts (maybe to see if my story would alter or not). He continued to maintain that he didn't remember anything. I explained that I hadn't brought it up because I knew information technology would be uncomfortable for him. I apologized for telling Doug about the situation, but I did attempt to explain my need to confide in someone about what happened. I told him how of import our friendship was, and that I wanted to preserve information technology at all costs. He said that he needed some time to deal with the state of affairs.

We ended up talking on the phone once more about a week later when I asked if some friends could come over and watch football game. During this conversation Jeff brought upward the sexual encounter once again and stressed how important it was that his girlfriend non find out about it. I told him that I had no intention of telling his girlfriend.

We ended upward hanging out again and things eventually returned to normal.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn't confided in Doug. I needed to talk to someone in person whom I trusted, but it didn't have to be someone familiar with Jeff. It would've been much easier for me to pretend that the state of affairs never happened. Instead, thanks to Doug, the state of affairs was brought upwardly 6 months later on and Jeff confronted me about it.

Friendship Status

Jeff and I continued to exist friends for about a year after he confronted me. Doug stopped hanging out with u.s., so it began to be just Jeff and I hanging out on the weekends. Information technology started to experience like we had less and less in common with each other. I don't know if this is because the Doug was the "gum" keeping our friendship together, or if the events of that nighttime were nevertheless having an bear upon on the friendship, or both.

We went from hanging out 2-3 times per calendar week to barely hanging out once a week. I blamed this on Jeff because it seemed similar he always had an alibi to non hang out. I felt similar I was having to exercise a lot of work merely to see him one time a week or once every other week. Jeff also had a bad habit (fifty-fifty before the sexual experience, since every bit long equally I've known him) of making plans and then cancelling them at the last minute. He would call or text to cancel at the last minute leaving me and others left holding tickets to concerts or having to get on a trip by ourselves.

Eventually, things came to a caput. After about ix months of feeling similar I was doing all the work to continue the friendship together, he cancelled on me 1 night at the last minute. I'd had enough. I called him and gave him a piece of my heed (the sexual encounter was never brought upwardly). We haven't talked since that telephone call.

What marked the beginning of the stop of our friendship? Was it the sexual meet? Was it the confrontation (no more than plausible deniability on his part)? Was it the fact that I told Doug? Was Doug really the "mucilage" of our friendship, and when he left Jeff and I had nada much in mutual?

I can't answer this question. I can signal to the end of our friendship and say that there were specific situations that acquired us to get into an argument and end things. Only I'll never know for sure what, if any, impact the sexual encounter 1.5 years before had on our friendship ending.

Occasionally I retrieve nigh Jeff and miss hanging out with him. I've wondered what I would say if I ran into him somewhere. I wish our friendship had lasted longer than it did.
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Sorry Chris, that really quite sad how that concluded up. I read this thread earlier and told ane of my very few gay friends about it and he said the aforementioned thing had happened to him. Sadly for him he is one of those gay guys who is attracted to very straight guys. He said information technology ended his friendship after a short fourth dimension too.